꒰ঌ sweetest 18 ໒꒱

It's officially the last day of my youth (º □ º l|l) I can now be that annoying ho that says these years of your life fade in a heartbeat just like everyone and their mother tells you growing up. But like no for real though they weren't lying. I've always wondered when it would feel real that I'm growing up but I honestly can't say I have an answer yet, I think I'll forever feel immature and naive and just dumb as hell I dunno. I feel like I'm supposed to feel different, as if I gain superpowers and turn into a magical mermaid with a unicorn horn once the clock strikes 12, but if being a 13 year old girl taught me anything, it's that a girl can't be a unicorn with a mermaid tail or whatever I said.

The cruelest part of adolescence was seeing my dreams crushed and fall apart in front of me but who would I even be without the reality of reality. I could've been a happier person very true reader. I didn't need to know about anything other than light shining through spring leaves and the color pink but here I am writing about adulthood ughfgj. And man oh man are there parts of girlhood I wish I got to experience with friends when I was a kid. Things that felt so simple like braiding each others hair, planning matching outfits, going to the mall to mess around with not a dollar to our name.

 I was always that person who cried on birthdays because the thought of getting older scared me. And maybe there's nothing to be afraid of but what if I lose something within me that only existed through the childish version of myself. The type of whimsicality that made you curious about simple things and try new hobbies that kept you excited to see what other abilities you had. But what scares me the most also excites me for the future. I can do everything I dream about and more if I just dried my tears and made bread for #dayz. 

I want to leave my hometown and live somewhere that inspires me, have the home I've always dreamed of and decorate it however I feel, wear the clothes that make me feel confident, and meet the coolest people in the whole wide world obviously. And that's just a fraction of my desires, I'm a woman of many wants okay. And one day I'll be walking down a beautiful flowery path wearing the most gorgeous beaded gown anyone has laid their eyes on but it won't be for my wedding, it'll be my 30th, flirty-ith, and thriving ( *ˊᵕˋ* ) For now I'll just enjoy what's in front of me and live my life to make new memories to reminisce on. I'm so freaking young there's literally so much time in this world hahaha I'm gonna giggle and laugh and have fun! I hope I never change!! yay 18!!!